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where_it_hurts [21 Feb 2005|06:43pm]
After all that drama in the lobby, I decided to take a shower in a poor attempt to relax. It didn't help...at all. Now I was just prune fingered but still emotionally slagged Buffy. Okay, so maybe the shower had been about a 40 gallon attempt at stalling. Putting off what had to be done. The only thing I could think about was how to break the news to Xander. He'd already lost Anya...this would just compound the pain. He and Cordy did have that...thing back in high school. An odd thing, but a thing nonetheless.

Once all squeaky clean I got dressed and made my way back to my room, but got caught up with an unexpected detour. I stopped a few doors short of my own and debated on if I should go in or not.

What the hell...

Turning the knob I pushed the door open and stepped inside. Cordelia's room... Angel had spent quite a bit of time in here. You know, when he wasn't playing uber private eye. I felt like I really shouldn't have been there. Yet there I was...with the being.

There were a few boxes packed with some of her things. The girl did love shoes... I found one labeled 'SDHS' and gravitated toward it. Opening the flaps of the box I searched its contents. Her diploma...charred, cheer leading outfit and trophies, a few photo albums from several dances...and her yearbook. Pulling the book out I then made my way over to the bed and sat down. I flipped through the pages slowly, reminiscing about the horrific day to day struggle that was high school. Oh, plus there was all that weird 'Hellmouth' stuff to contend with. Cordelia was always a reluctant member of the scoobies. We didn't exactly see eye to eye on, uh...well, anything. And it's kind of sad that the only time we really 'bonded' was that time we were being hunted. We were never close...and now, I guess we'd never get to be...

I think I'll be taking the next exit off memory lane.

Replacing the book, I left the room and headed back to the lobby. I'm pretty much out of ideas for stalling...

[[Open to...whoever. Xand? Once he's done with Maya possibly?]]
in heaven

lyre_remix sample [17 Jan 2005|11:42pm]
Since when did L.A. have a dress code? No toga, no sandals, no service? And what's with the clouds? I mean actual clouds and not smog, car exhaust and all the other stuff that does a body good.

Where the hell was I? And more importantly, where was everyone else?

Just when I thought we were in the clear
The world I knew just disappeared
California is not the 'here and now'
I'm not sure why I'm here
And I don't know how

Is this all a wacky sort of deja vu?
If Sweet is behind this he'll be black and blue
Singing and dancing
been there, done that
Now enter the back-up dancers
With togas and...top hats?


I watched as a line of girls entered and made with some fancy foot work...then vanished. Wow, that was awkward.

It's all too bizarre to be real
The last time this happed I 'just wanted to feel'
But I'm past that--What's with the backtrack?
I didn't ask for an instant replay
Of our quick brush with Broadway

Did Xander get hold of another talisman?
Or did he speak Latin near the cryptic books again?
Oh, God, my sister is M.I.A
And to think...its not even a Tuesday


Dawn... Oh, god, did some hell beast want to make her their queen again? I hate when demons go and pull someone else's M.O.. So unoriginal. Walking down a long corridor I took in the architecture. Roman influence, obviously. Columns, statues of people lacking certain appendages and some critical pieces of clothing..., plus vases galore.

I don't know who's behind this spell
But once I do, I'll make their life a living hell
Endless singing and dancing can't be our fate
So, now it's up to me to set things straight

Gotta say, I really didn't miss this...
in heaven

[13 Jan 2005|04:05pm]
[ mood | drained ]

I looked at Riley as we kept on with Oz and Rona in tow.

“So, you saw that huh? I’ve heard of bringin’ the house down, but a whole town? Yeah, that was pretty new for all of us. I’m used to destruction to a certain degree, but that was just...weird.”

And kind of a relief...for a whole minute. The Hellmouth had been destroyed for good, but then Giles kindly informed us that there was another. Talk about a party-poop. Parade canceled due to a big loomy rainstorm names Giles.

"Don't tell me you did it?"

I shook my head and sighed.

“Me personally? No. It was...Spike actually. There was a whole thing with an amulet that had to be worn by a champion...and uber vamps...a-and he died, to save us. That’s the it in a nutshell.”

I turned and looked over my shoulder to the other two.

“Nearly there guys.”

I could see the hospital up ahead and hoped everyone was okay and that they managed to stay together. Once at the building we headed inside and I made my way over to the information counter, but before I could ask a question I was told where I could find everyone. Apparently our little group of fighters were easily distinguished due to the multicolored goop we were all sporting. I thanked the receptionist then lead the others to the elevator and we finally arrived on the correct floor and stepped off the elevator.

“Third floor: Women’s apparel, shoes, sporting goods and hey, look, everyone else. Weirdest department store I’ve ever been to...”

[[Calling all currently at the hospital ^_^ Last post jump for me, promise >.<]]

in heaven

[30 Nov 2004|05:53pm]
Where do I start with the bad?

Actually, it might be easier and a hell of a lot less time consuming to just get the 'good' out of the way...

The mystery of Buffy's missing navy blue tank top has been solved. The criminal, one Miss Dawn Summers, is now banned from the scene of the crime--my closet--for the month, with no renegotiation on the matter. Uh...that's about it. Yep, all the happy and/or good in my life has been summed up and compressed into a little tank top. Well, it's a very nice top if that makes any difference.

So, shirt happiness aside, there's....the bad. Ugh. Yesterday was a nightmare of a day that I'd like to just...forget completely. Spells gone wrong, Giles wants to ditch me, Willow and Tara vacationing in Splits-ville...not to mention a horrible momentary, and might I add much regretted, lapse of all sane judgment in the form of...uh...Spike--and the lips--and...oh God. I'm trying to suppress here. And it was kind of working...till now. Now I'm just sick again.

I did the typical morning routine thing with Dawn then she scurried off to school with a quick 'I love you', to which I answered with an all but wholehearted smile. It took me about an hour to realize that 'I love you too' would have been the proper response to that. I'll get it right...next time.

With the house Dawn-free and the lack of me having a job...or a school...or a life to tend to, I decided to head to the magic box. I'd take Anya's company over the company of a sink full of dishes anytime...okay, maybe not anytime so much as right now.

Stepping into the shop, I cringed as the stupid little brass bell rang to announce my arrival. I really hate that thing. Anya was M.I.A...maybe she was in the back doing her 'woo-hoo, Giles is entrusting the Magic Box and its cash register to me!' dance. Dunno if such a dance really exists, but I wouldn't put it past her. She was evil you know.

Shrugging I walked over and sat my bag down onto the table the took a seat on the front counter beside the register.

"Anya? Your money is unattended...."

Is this going to be my existence now? Suppressing memories of Spike kiss-age then becoming a nascence to Anya during business hours? If the demon world didn't operate on a mostly nocturnal schedule I could be off killing something. Demons have no consideration what so ever. And only nine hours till sunset.

Ugh.
in heaven

[14 Apr 2004|05:23pm]
What happened?

I’m use to my life being less than a cake walk, but thinking back on the past two years I wonder if all of it really happened. Or was this one of those freakishly vibrant dreams that felt SO real, but remained dreams nevertheless.

I know dwelling on the past is a big no-no, but how can I not...when I’m scared of what’s to come. If I try to look forward--to the future...I see nothing. Vast amounts of nothingness to be exact. And that’s scarier than anything I’ve ever had to face. Give me a weapon--point me at a demon--and I can deal, but take away my weapons--and give those demons masks of the ones I trusted...and Im up a proverbial creek without a paddle. Stagnant--stationary. Can’t go back and too scared to go forward.

The said weapons that were pulled away from me are my friends. Well, some of them. And those demons in sheeps clothing? Former friends–past acquaintances–and one-time lov-... But that’s all gone. Has been for a while now. Yet, here I am, still with the dwelling of it all.

I trudge on, and paint my smile on everyday to cover my insecurities...my doubts...and my fears. I’m the senior Slayer here after all, need to act as the bestest Buffy shaped role model for all the junior Slayers that happen to come our way. Vi has been a breath of fresh air. Of all the SITs that stayed with me back in Sunnydale, I didn’t really picture her as one I would grow all that close to. I had a duty to protect her and the others, but now we’re pretty good gal-pals. She held her own around here, and has come a long way from the mousey girl I first met. She’s got a lot to learn, but she’s definitely a success story.

Then, there’s the matter Dawn. My ‘baby’ sister isn’t a baby anymore. She hasn’t been for a while, but I was a bit slow to catch on to that fact. Everyone around me seemed to realize it... Guess it was something that could only be seen by those lacking jaded Buffy vision. Maybe I need glasses... Then again, maybe I just didn’t want to see it. God...she’s gonna be 19! And after that...she will no longer carry the ‘-teen’ at the end of her age. I hate having...a really big number of miles between us. It’s the overbearing/overprotective/slightly paranoid big sister in me. Not a day goes by where I don’t worry about her well being. Wondering if she’s happy. ‘Expect the worse, hope for the best.’, that saying always comes in mind when I think about her. What if she needed me there? For whatever reason. She would have to settle for a phone call or wait till I could catch a flight.

*sighs*

I remember when life was simple...
Actually, no, I really don’t.
in heaven

[14 Apr 2004|05:02pm]
[ mood | anxious ]


“The Hyperion Hotel, please.” The cab driver gives a small nod before putting the car in gear and heading out of the LAX parking lot.

LA, the place where my journey as a Slayer began would now serve as the place where my little sister would begin hers. Yup, my little Dawn...a Slayer. Just one of god only knows how many other girls. All of them chosen. All of them special. But her–even more so. My baby sister, following in my footsteps. A girl who wasn’t even sure if her life even qualified as a real life a few years ago, would now be responsible for saving the lives of others.

I couldn’t shelter her anymore, no matter how badly I wanted to. (And I really wanted to...trust me.)The Powers chose her--not to be protected from the world, but for her to protect others from it...or things that resided in it anyway.

I’m still not exactly sure why I was surprised that she had been chosen. She is a Summers after all. Yeah, I know its not a hereditary thing...but there will be no bursting of Buffy’s little bubble of happiness.

::Glances over at Dawn in the neighboring seat and smiles lightly::

A new start, for the both all of us. Giles, Robin and Andrew were hard at work over the summer trying to breathe some life into the brand spankin’ new Watchers Council. Willow should be returning from her little get away soon--if she isn’t back already, and I think Xander’s back from his too.

...

In that instant I cant help my mind from slipping to the two that wouldn’t be coming back. Two that fought bravely, selflessly and lost their lives. Two that...I couldn’t save. Anya...and Spike

Poor Xander. I know he was just acting like a brave little toaster on the outside, when on the inside he was really that odd scared little blanket who looked up to the toaster. If I could bring her back for him I’d do it in a heartbeat. They were the real deal. And I honestly believe that if they were given the time they would have gotten over the slum their relationship was in.

And Spike--well, a single day hasn’t passed since that battle when I haven thought about him. He saved us--and I don’t just mean the ‘us’ that were involved, I mean ALL of us. It’s awful, but I even wondered...what if I had let Angel help me like he had offered to. What if Angel had been the one to--god...bag thoughts, Buffy. Bad!

Not only did Spike save us during the battle, he saved me before it had even begun. When everyone--my sister, my friends--all turned on me, he was there. And now? He’s...not.

“How much further?” I ask the driver before eyeing my watch.

“Nearly there miss. Should arrive within the next twenty minutes.” He replied while looking back at Dawn and I thought the rearview mirror.

“Okay... Thank you...”

The wait was killing me. What a major spaz. We may all be starting anew, but as long as I have my sister, my Giles, my Willow and my Xander...I can deal with anything this, or any other, town might throw at me. There’s nothing that bunch can get me through.

in heaven

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